My Mother-in-law....

Ever since I have set foot into this world, I have grown up holding my mother’s hand and she is the one who showed me the world through her eyes. Later, she encouraged me to go on my own and define world through my own experiences.
Inspite of my “terrible teens”, one thing was absolutely clear, no one can ever take the place of my mother and that is why she is MOM!  It will be impossible for me to call any other person as my mother (I mean, that’s huge... right?)
I was wrong
When I turned 27 last year, a new life was waiting for me with all arms open: I was about to get married!
I was excited and happy because the man I was to marry is a gem of a person.., but I was anxious and nervous because of the fear of unknown.. my mother and father-in-law. I used to think what’ll I call them... aunty-uncle, mummyji-papaji or simply just come up with something like.. haanji, ji, namaste, ummm, etc.
I won’t lie, it was cluttered in my head.
Then I decided to just forget everything and go with the flow; let things come to me all by itself. The moment I stepped inside Mumbai (my in law’s place), I felt a different kind of vibe. A vibe which was so new and so fresh. All smiling faces in front of me.. ready to make me feel at home, like I was already the member of this new family. My husband had to leave to USA leaving me alone with my new “parents”.
I was scared; I only knew him.. not his family..!
I decided I will show them my true self and not to be impersonate.
But I hesitated to call them mom and dad.
We in general have a tendency to rely on the first impression for other people and environment which is not the right way. You’ve got to be a little mature than that.
In India, it is the daughter-in-law who has to adjust to the new place and learn the lifestyle of the new family. For me, I gradually discovered, I didn’t have to do anything to adjust, they adjusted for me! It was a surprise because I have always seen my mother struggling so much to find her rightful place in my father’s family. I have seen my mother being constantly questioned by my grandma on random irrelevant things.
My mother-in-law is so open and so welcoming that I didn’t feel alienated. We talk about almost every topic. She is so lively and cheerful; she didn’t even make me understand their cooking methods and lifestyle. Like a water color, I merged into their ways easily.
She gave me time to sink in (which isn’t a common thing at all).
And before I could realise, one day I said .... Maa..! Oh My God.. I gave her the highest honor! She isn’t just my husband’s mother anymore.. she is my mother as well! I am sure she also must have took time to understand me. The best thing was, we both never forced ourselves onto each other.
Now, I can not fathom myself not talking to her on a daily basis. Many a times, I follow my mother-in-law’s advices more than my own mom (my mother-in-law is more open minded and not restricted by traditions). I think of her and my father-in-law every day; and they have all their love to shower upon me!
Yes, I am her daughter.. and not just daughter-in-law!
Some women have dreadful experiences with their in laws, I have seen them too. I think God is kind to me to give me two moms who equally love me and pray for my well-being.
On your 55th birthday, I wish you all the good luck and all the happiness. You means the world to me!
See you soon maa...

An Old Me but A New Me

It is too much to embrace life when you get high of it. All of a sudden when you were just living in your worst days, someone just makes you so alive and showers so much happiness that it becomes unbearable. Feels like you are living in a juxtaposing fantasy world which is beyond your imagination. I too fell under such a place. Marriage and coming to USA with my one and only was itself too much to take that I dont want to come out of it at all.
And guess what..., I am not doing anything wrong; I deserve it.
Honestly, if you want something, all you need is to have trust and patience. People will come along in your life showing an alternate route which might look easier. All my life I have ever wanted was the ultimate love of my life and men did knock on my heart; but none could touch my heart (or maybe I was too naive to ignore it.. who knows..). Born in a middle class family, I have always seen my parents protecting each other and loving each other without even saying those three magical words. And now here I am... miles away from home.. with my partner in a completely new avatar (a wife!!! I still get chills while thinking about that transformation.. but there it is..)
I am living the American life and learning the American ways. Also, my Social Media feeds are getting so interesting with the picturesque locations (can’t avoid mentioning that!!). Yet, I am a Desi at heart, making Chapatis, Daal and Sabzi for my Hubba-Hubba!! I still try to be myself by talking to my folks back in India and reminding me of my roots. Trying to find myself in this first world country, I have come a long way. My whole life and routine has taken a 180 degree turn. Of course, the New Me has spoilt the Old Me; but I am happy to take it in full form. Now I realize that change is a part of life which is unavoidable.
Life is short, so you never know what’s next. Until then just stay happy and make your own path. Things will fall in place when it has to be. 

I'm Getting Married!

Oh My Gosh.. it's truely happening!!
The dream I've been carrying in my mind and heart since so long is finally taking shape. Yes, it feels like a fairy tale but truth being told... I'm filled with anxiety and nervousness from top to bottom. Surely that has to occur.. in a few days I'll be no more the same.. I'll be staying in an entirely new place with new people and new environment. It's not that easy.. But it's the one thing I've chosen for myself at last.
I've always loved to attend weddings as it is the purest form of showing love and truest form of belief of togetherness.... for good and for worse. I've been bridesmaid to many friends and like. But this is the time I get to be on the other side.. I'll be the lovely BRIDE!
Since my childhood, I've been taught that marriage brings many responsibilities on a girl's shoulders especially after the moment her man of love puts the holy "sindoor" and "mangalsutra" on his lady love's grace, she instantly becomes a lady and is no longer that carefree girl who could roam around in the house in her mere pajamas, party with friends and watch Netflix all day! But, I believe that marriage is an institution where you find a companion and spend your life together as a whole to achieve a higher objective.
I'm certain that, this won't be a bed of roses as it's not easy to lead a life with an unknown person whom you just met for a day or two..., but yes, Sahil loves me and I love him too. And love is one strong bond which transcends all boundaries... all the difficulties.. and all the possible dangers. It'll be my strength for sure and I'm ready to take it now... it's time that I should shed my much-loved-bachelorhood, I guess. Everything closely linked with Sahil is now linked with me too and this is a special feeling.
Of course, I am afraid of the unknown... I am afraid that I should never let my family down... and I must always see the good side of the coin because there'll be nothing but gloom, sadness and anger if I'm negative. I have a strong belief in the almighty power and won't stop thanking God for the wonderful life he has showered to me.
My marriage is on 2nd of July, 2017 and is one of the 1st steps towards starting my own family which I've always been longing for. I'm sure I'll be welcomed into the new world in a much better way than I can ever imagined... Let there be light!

Now I Know How It Feels To Be In LOVE!

Since my childhood, I believed in one thing which is above all... LOVE! Whether it's a love for family, friends, mentors, professors, work colleagues... or the partner. Frankly, I call myself a rich girl, because I have experienced it all... but still was short of love of a man. But, now I can proudly say that, I have found my life partner whom I really love and care..., and am ready to spend the rest of my life with him. The Gods have showered their utmost fantastic blessings on me and him, and we're kinda perfect for each other.

He found me during my worst self.. marred by the fake love and unworthy friends. I went into a cave of self doubt. He made me realize that love does exist if I would open-up once again. From the very first interaction..., he believed in me when I didn't believe in myself. But, his goodness made me fall for him and I love him for eternity. Yes, he is not perfect and of course, neither am I; but this is how two imperfects become perfect with each other, right?

When we say that marriages are made in heaven..., like kind of destined, well, I agree it totally. Arranged by parents and sealed by both of us.., it's a perfect form of a relationship I always dreamt about (maybe because that's how I've seen my parents grow with each other)! I admit, at first I didn't want to understand him because I was so tired of this thing called as show-off love.. something which you can say in lehman terms as "No Strings Attached", because it's not my scene all-together. I mean, darn the world.. but I can't just loose myself for a man whom I don't even love. He loved me and he didn't force myself onto me. He kept his patience because his feelings were true. My feelings for him started growing more and more with time..., and here I am.. totally and insanely IN LOVE!

Now that things are getting in shape, he is the ultimate rockstar guy of my life. I can't think of starting the second innings of life with him. He has got everything which I need. We're getting married pretty soon (touchwood), but we've already vowed to stay with each other in good or bad days. 

I think, I can give myself to him..., make my dream come true.. To have my own family! :)

Oh! Is That You? Sorry, I've Already Got Over You

I put my quality time aside just to spend it with you.
I absolved you all the time because you deserved a second chance.
Even in my lowest self, I always smiled for you
All of this, you don't own, but I still gave you.
I guess I was wrong.
Oh! Is That You? Sorry, I've Already Got Over You

When you left without telling me why,
I was all alone,
thinking about my mistakes (if any),
thinking about why you left,
I cried for many days (3 days) for you.
I guess I was wrong
Oh! Is That You? Sorry, I've Already Got Over You

All of those 'cry days' were bitter and vulnerable.
My mind was running so fast to think about ways
and maybe I'd sing a beautiful song
to persuade you.
I guess I was wrong
Oh! Is That You? Sorry, I've Already Got Over You

I was in pain which I didn't actually deserve,
and you just left without saying a word.
You made me hate myself
I felt like I've been toyed and just left for heaven's sake
and this.. well, I can't take from you
I guess I was wrong
Oh! Is That You? Sorry, I've Already Got Over You

Yeah, I'll let you say to the people
that "a crazy girl loved me"
but just so you know,
I've erased your memory; 
you're a long gone history,
and now you don't have a space in my life anymore.
Ha! Now I can hardly remember you.
Oh! Is That You? Sorry, I've Already Got Over You

To Those Who loved Me in My Worst Self

That's a basic reason why one must have 'good' friends. I feel lucky in that way because I have found some of the best people in my life, and probably that's why I cherish friendship so much. I never judge them but yes, I like getting their updates all the time.

This is to all those dear friends of mine who were always like an extra pair of legs to me when I couldn't stand on my own. Thank you. 

Thank you to all of them who became my strength when the world hated me.

Thank you for believing in me when every other person found me disgustingly funny. For giving me a foundation and stabilize me when I couldn't find a starting point. Thank you for being my 3 am phone pal when I was having sleepless night after nights.

For being just behind me when I am clumsy, thank you!

Thank you for taking out time for me in emergency and just sitting besides me patiently even when I have nothing to talk. You always remind me to be myself even if everyone wants to improvise me.

Thank you for being my personal SWOT analysis machine.

You have the power to see something in me that I could never see, probably because you know the best I can do. Thank you for loving me and understanding my sensitive mind and always encouraging me to stay like this forever. For telling me day in and day out that everything isn't meant to be a perfect fit; you need to let loose. Thank you for telling me that I look beautiful even when I am wearing the shabby two-strapped slippers or when I become sad because of my body size.

Thank you for caring for me in my messiest days

Thank you for appreciating my accidental success and saying that, "Cheers to you. Let's party!" For being the fan of my voice even when my throat swells. You bring joy to me by allowing me to be as crazy as I can. Thank you for understanding things I could never express but were there in my heart. For showing me what love really is and what it isn't... Thank You.

I love you more than anything else in this world

For those who "really" know me, like really know me in and out. You still stick around when I am furious, yell at you and spoil your day completely. You have seen me in my best and in my worst self... And you proudly say that I'm worth it! Thank you for not pretending in front of me and be my greatest critic as well as adviser in all the phases of my life.

My friend, I could never ask for anything more. Clearly, you're the reason that I see good in myself and get motivated to go on.... Thank You!

A.R. Rahman: The Drug Of My Life

Music is the soul of everything under the sun. It can influence our senses to a great extent. For example, a slow music can lower your heart beat, relax your mind, and makes you forget everything. On the contrary, a hard tempo can boost your adrenaline, makes your head shake automatically and you feel like dancing. A spiritual music can set you apart from the mob and your mind travels as far as possible.
My connection with music has been since I have gained my senses as I have been learning Classical Vocal since my very childhood, but a true love for it was eventually developed when 'Jiya Jale' song paved way into my ears and eventually, into my heart. And thus, was my introduction with A.R.Rahman sahab! (Yes, I call him that way, he's a sahab to me, much more than anything else, I love him.) He takes my breath away whenever I listen to his compositions. His hold in the notes and an ocean of knowledge in the world of music is incomparable, and undoubtedly, he is simply the Alchemist of Music.
Songs of 'Dil Se..', 'Bombay', 'Roja' and some of the initial Rahman compositions are such that almost every generation must have liked it, and why not? A single strum of the sound and the poetic lyrics in them are like pearls. Tell me, what happens inside your mind when you hear 'Chaiyaan Chaiyaan' where Sukhwinder Singh totally mesmerise us with his epic voice. It's like a Pied Piper playing a tune and we being the rats, keep blindly following him. 'Kehna Hi Kya', 'Tu Hi Re' have their own way to hypnotise us and heal us completely. And how can you forget the marvel of  'Taal'... ahh! Sensational songs like 'Ishq Bina', 'Ramta Jogi', 'Mere Paas hai tu' and so on... truly takes me to a different sphere. "Mere Paas hai tu" can't be expressed in words, I can listen to it 1000 times and get lost in my own world where I don't need anyone any more.
Less people might have heard all the songs of 'Meenaxi' starring Tabu. It has a music which sets all the boundaries apart and makes us believe in India's rich cultural heritage. Yeah, that's the strength in his music. 'Ye Rishta Kya Kehlaata Hai', 'Do Kadam', 'Noor-Un-Ala-Noor' have an earthy appeal in them, and no other tune could really have set with the Gulzar lyrics, really! Rahman and Gulzar are like coffee and milk, they go best with each other, but otherwise they have their own supremacy already. Do you remember the soulful songs of 'Saathiya'? I'm sure you do, especially 'Chalka', I still remember that we as kids used to dance a lot on this song in occasions and festivals. And the pumping music of 'O Humdum suniyo re' is a superb Indo-Western tune. I start having goosebumps whenever I listen to 'Chupke Se' or 'Naina Milaike'. They are some of the best crafted songs ever of Rahman Sahab. It can come into a category of "Songs to listen before you die".
Another great album came into being is 'Yuva'. 'Fanaa' is such a party song; makes me dance. And subtle songs like 'Kabhi neem neem', 'Badal jo aaye' will surely make your mood pleasant. I can keep on listing the songs but I just don't feel like stopping because there's much more than that. 'Kissa hum likhenge', 'O Maria', 'Dola Dola Dola', 'Do Nishaaniyaan', 'Blue theme song', 'Chiggy Wiggy', 'Ye Delhi hai mere yaar', 'Humma Humma', 'O ri chori', 'Radha kaise na jale', 'Masakali', 'Arziyaan'.....and so on.
I know I've missed mentioning many more songs.. but yes, he's the undisputed king of sur. He is the very thing because of who I am alive .... like a daily dose (4-5 songs per day at least) ;)
We love you A.R.Rahman ... keep inspiring us and I hope I could get a chance to see you once in my life....