Societal Chauvinism: Challenging Society’s Bias Against Weight

Let’s start with a question—Is being overweight truly a curse? Society certainly treats it as one. I’ve seen people spend their entire lives obsessing over weight loss, dieting, exercising, and chasing an arbitrary standard of beauty. But does beauty really come from being slim? Isn’t it more about having a kind heart, an intelligent mind, and confidence in oneself?

Yet, time and again, people face rejection—from friendships, careers, social circles, and even marriage proposals—simply because of their weight. The effort overweight individuals put into their health often goes unnoticed because society equates body size with intelligence and discipline. And honestly, I despise this word: “society.” What is it really for? To support each other or to tear people down for being different? The hypocrisy is staggering.

Yes, I am overweight. I have battled this since childhood, and yes, I love food. Does that make me unattractive? Probably, at least in the eyes of society. Even if I accept my body, the world refuses to let me. We spend fortunes on slimming treatments, avoid certain foods, struggle to find well-fitting clothes, and navigate daily judgment—yet none of this effort seems to matter. For overweight women, the world is especially unforgiving.

Look anywhere—TV, movies, advertisements. The narrative is the same: slim women find love, success, and happiness. Overweight women? They are either invisible or reduced to comic relief. Even in family gatherings, slim individuals wear fashionable outfits and indulge freely, while we monitor ourselves, both in dress and diet. The unspoken rule is clear—our presence is tolerated, but only if we are trying to change.

Yes, being overweight can lead to health issues, but so can many other lifestyle choices. And yet, why is it so hard for people to respect and accept us as we are? Are we less human? Less capable? The truth is, overweight individuals are often some of the most resilient, hardworking, and intelligent people. The constant struggle we endure requires strength that few can match.

I call this Societal Chauvinism—the deep-rooted bias against body diversity, particularly in India, where weight discrimination is almost as divisive as casteism. Even my own family suggests I move to the U.S., where, at least in some circles, body inclusivity is more accepted.

And then there are the so-called “plus-size” clothing stores. Why should we be segregated into special sections? Are designers so unimaginative that they can’t create inclusive fashion? Instead of forcing people to conform, isn’t it time we reshape our attitudes toward body weight?

This is more than a personal grievance—it’s a systemic issue. It’s time we stop treating weight as a moral failure and start acknowledging people for their character, talent, and perseverance. Society needs to evolve, and this conversation is long overdue.

'NO' is not just a word; it is a complete sentence

 The Liberating Power of No: Breaking Free from 'Ji-Huzoori'

Do you often find yourself nodding along to requests, even when they drain your energy and derail your priorities? Do you struggle with the guilt and anxiety that comes with saying no, fearing that you'll let others down or damage your relationships? You're not alone. For many of us, 'Ji-Huzoori' or people-pleasing has become a deeply ingrained habit, one that can lead to burnout, resentment, and a loss of identity.

But what if you could break free from the weight of constant yeses? What if you could learn to say no without guilt, and instead, say yes to yourself and your own needs? Imagine the sense of liberation and empowerment that would come with setting healthy boundaries, prioritizing your own well-being, and cultivating meaningful relationships built on mutual respect.
We don't need to add "I'm sorry" or "I'm busy" or "Maybe later" to soften the blow. We don't need to justify our decision or provide a lengthy explanation. We simply need to say "NO" with confidence, kindness, and conviction.

Saying no is not about being selfish or uncaring; it's about being honest and authentic. It's about recognizing that you can't pour from an empty cup, and that taking care of yourself is essential to living a life that truly reflects your values and passions. So, take a deep breath, and start practicing the liberating power of no. Your mind, body, and spirit will thank you.

Building Emotional Resilience for Tough Times

Hey, friend! Let's get real for a second. Life can be a wild ride, full of twists and turns that can leave us feeling battered, bruised, and utterly bewildered. One day, we're cruising along, feeling like we're on top of the world. The next, we're drowned in our problems, wondering how we'll ever find our way out.

But here's the thing: we're not alone in this journey. We all face tough times, and we all need to develop the skills to navigate them. That's where emotional resilience comes in – the ability to bounce back from adversity, to adapt to challenging situations, and to emerge stronger, wiser, and more wonderful than ever.

How do we build this strength? How do we develop the coping mechanisms that'll help us win over the fear of the unknown? Here are some tools to get you started:

Self-Care: Take care of your physical, emotional, and mental health. Get enough sleep, exercise, and eat nutritious food. Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation, like meditation, yoga, or reading.
Mindfulness: Practice being present in the moment. Focus on your thoughts, feelings, and sensations without judgment. Mindfulness can help you stay grounded and centered, even in turbulent times.
Positive Mind: Challenge negative thoughts and reframe them in a positive light. Instead of "I'll never get through this," try "I've survived tough times before, and I can do it again."
Social Support: Surround yourself with people who uplift, support, and encourage you. Don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it – that's what friends and family are for!
Emotional Expression: Allow yourself to feel and express your emotions in a healthy way. Write in a journal, talk to a trusted friend, or engage in a creative activity that helps you process your feelings.

The Power of Vulnerability

Here's the thing: building emotional resilience requires vulnerability. It requires us to be honest with ourselves and others about our struggles, our fears, and our doubts. It requires us to take risks, to face our challenges head-on, and trust that we'll emerge stronger on the other side.

So, if you're going through a tough time right now, know that you're not alone. Know that you have the strength, the courage, and the resilience to get through this. Remember to be kind to yourself, to take things one step at a time, and to trust that better days are ahead.

Keep in mind that building emotional resilience is a journey, not a destination. It takes time, effort, and practice, but the rewards are well worth it. So, take a deep breath, square your shoulders, and remember that you are capable of weathering any storm that comes your way.

We are in this together, hai naa!

Nothing can Compare my Love for Savita Gupta - my late Mother-in-law

Some relationships take years to build in family… one of them is between mother-in-law & daughter-in-law. It’s a gradually developing, mature bond, it doesn’t happen overnight 

For me… it was a divine connection. One week after Sahil and I got married, Sahil left for the USA, and my visa was under process. I stayed alone with my in-laws for the first 2.5 months.

My mother-in-law is a private and quiet person, but she broke the ice with me & gave me so much comfort that was beyond my mind. She always called me Beta & I called her Maa. After marriage.. we talked daily because I loved sharing everything with her & vice versa. Our bond strengthened, and we became inseparable.. but it was short-lived...

On a sunny Saturday morning of 18th February 2023 (Maha Shivratri), she had a massive cardiac arrest & the next we know is that Maa is no more.. ! No medical history and no prolonged illness. How can someone go in seconds just like that? 

Shocking for us, and for everyone who knew maa.. I can never imagine what papa and Sahil were going through, but this is also true that it’s so hard for me to be without her. This is going to take years to heal. Our rock is shaken & life has changed. It’s an extremely difficult loss to handle. She had so much positivity and zeal to explore new things. It felt like a part of me died that day.

Today marks one year of absence. The absence of someone who loved me, encouraged me, cheered me on, told me I could do anything, and gave me the grit to follow through. I can’t believe she’s gone, and I still feel lost without her.” I wish I could sit down and have our daily 10am endless talks. Make you chaai by your 'official chai maker of the family. ' I wish I could do all the little things with you again, just like we used to do. Go out on random shopping sprees in the streets of Mumbai. We still miss you like crazy. I don’t think time will ever take that away..

People ask why am I so upset for my mother-in-law's passing even after so long. The answer simply is that I chose her before Sahil. I always wanted my husband's mother to be like my mentor, my guide, and overall my friend. She was all of the above. I feel I didn't learn a lot of her recipes (she used to do a lot of fusions which are now as good as lost); didn't take those lessons seriously. 

Maa, we pray that you’ve found peace with God and that you bless us every step of the way💕🙏🏼

Be a SPIRIT - LIFTER

I woke up last Sunday and had a cup of my morning green tea with the regular multi-grain biscuit for a healthy start of the day. While I was enjoying the hot tea on a windy morning, I realized that all I wanted was to have a job, and now when I have one, I am still looking for something more. Why? Well. I don't have any answer for that mysterious 'Why'.

The everyday life schedule is a routine work and my work place is a great way to make my mood happy, seriously. I love writing, and that's what I am doing my 9 hours on the job daily. But still, there's something which I can't figure out myself. I tried to do some activities to deviate myself from this thought like, watching comedy episodes, going out with bunch of friends, shop till I drop, etc. and still it's a temporary avoidance to my mood.

I always loved reading, so a few months back, in one of the non-fiction books I read these lines, "be a spirit-lifter". That's when my mind clicked and I started searching more on this aspect. I really liked the way the author presented his views on finding inner peace. You don't have to be victims of circumstances, but you can own them in your way.

In fact, what's interesting to note is that finding happiness in your current situations will ward-off your sufferings to a great extent because you are what you are currently and that's why it's called 'A Present'. If you just stop thinking and start believing, it'll be a no-worry state for the rest of your life. Being lively is a beautiful way to keep yourself fit and healthy and absolutely free from diseases. We can't change the circumstances, but we can surely change the way to look inside.

Sometimes, from others experiences we learn a great deal about ourselves, and what's better than learning from other people's experiences. There's absolutely no harm in knowing your environment. We just need to accept the fact that not always, we will be making the right decision, but if it is 'my' decision, I should not regret it, and failures are a stepping stone to success.

In my personal opinion, if it's still not working for you, you can try these few activities which you can include in your daily routine, and see the fun part of you making space in your body:

• Eat often and eat light. Don't fill your stomach in one go. Try to eat at regular intervals.
• Early to bed, early to rise. This is an age-old phrase, but a very apt one. It's always good to follow the concept of early sleep and waking up early.
• Go out. Staying indoors makes you lethargic and vulnerable to nonsense thinking. Instead, indulge yourself in outdoor activities. You will remain fit and fantastic
• Listen to your favorite track. Music is definitely a healer and mood enhancer. A little voice in your head always makes a positive soul.
• Aromatic environment. Studies also finds that fragrance around you indulges your all senses and automatically your mind is healed.
• Act of giving. Always try to serve the needy and see what mental satisfaction you get after it. There's nothing better than volunteering for some cause and making some efforts from your comfort zone.
• Play. Make a habit of exercising your mind and body by playing games, both puzzles and group games. This will sharpen your mind and distract you from unnecessary thinking.

Have a positive mindet no matter what, and you will become a spirit-lifter forever and an inspiration to the people around you.

Karvachauth: A festival of love

I love my country regardless of how many bad incidents keep happening on an hourly basis. India is so rich in culture and heritage that every 20 km, you can see something new among the inhabitants. Today is one of the most auspicious occasions celebrated in most of the Northern region of India, Karvachauth. You can say that, it's proof of a woman being happily married to her eternal love, her husband. This is a rigorous fast where the women don't eat or drink for the whole day till she sees the moon in the night. The moon is a reflection of her husband's face and that's how the fast is said to be completed. In fact, while keeping fast, they still keep on doing their daily activities, and it still is a mystery to me that how can she do all the routine activities and not have a single drop of water. I guess, this is no logic, but a commitment of love and care of her love. Also, some men keeps fast showing their love for their wives. My brother does that for his wife
When I was young, the 1st thing I did was to go to my mother, and see her mehndi on Karvachauth. It looked beautiful. She is a perfect example, as per me, of an ideal lady who is a perfect mother, wife, daughter, etc. I wish her a Happy Karvachauth, and told her to be happy and healthy and I'm definitely sure that I'm going to see a beautifully dressed up woman in an elegant saree in the evening.

Now, I myself observe this beautiful festival with full energy and a lot of love for Sahil.. I feel privileged to celebrate love in this way. I apply mehendi on one hand, and my husband tries to make the best design on my other hand (I almost cry, even after 6 years of my marriage when he does it). For me, Karvachauth reminds me of the love and devotion for my family. Most people still find it as a regressive festival, but it always gives me strength to be always there for my husband and his family. I have a beautiful sasuraal, and they keep my like a queen. When there is so much adoration and respect, well..., nirjal fast becomes a piece of cake

Thanking is an important gesture... Dil Se!

How many times have you thanked someone?
How often have you expressed gratitude to your friends, family members, peers...  or any stranger? I'm sure, we do it almost daily.., but the real question is,
"Did you thank because you 'really meant it' or because of some sort of compulsion?"
We are, by nature, more responsive to abuse and react to it more often than being patient and saying good words to people around us.
Honestly, sometimes I also find myself falling into that category very often. But when I realized the power of appreciating, I felt that I was building more negativity around me unnecessarily. Why do we say false words to someone? or, why do we find faults in the system? The system has been like that since its inception, it is your perception which matters. You find fault because your mind isn't adjusted to a new environment because mind is too habituated to the usual set up. Instead of talking bad about it, find ways to improve if you think something needs to be changed or just be positive.
Make a habit to see positive qualities in people & learn to grasp it.
Believe me or not, each one of us have some good trait/quality to offer. Knowledge has to be continuous for growth and development.

In a world that moves at lightning speed, gratitude is the pause that reminds us of what truly matters. A simple “Thank You” isn’t just good manners—it’s a superpower. It can mend relationships, brighten someone’s day, and even transform your own outlook on life.
A study suggests that the number of times you stay genuinely happy and make others happy, the more you ward-off the diseases and tiredness from your body.
You will make yourself more flexible and will grow mature if you keep an open mind always.
For an exercise, make a list of good and bad words which you say in your daily life.
Once you are finished doing it, retrospect, if you have more bad words than good words (most of us will have bad ones) and motivate yourself more if you have more good words in your list. Good habits never die, instead they stay with you as your asset and inspire others in many ways.
Similarly, in your daily routine there are a lot of people who would have helped you make your day good. Have you ever thanked your maid or car cleaner or laundry man for their services or the cleaner who brooms your vicinity?
Remember the 'Jaadu-ki-Jhappi' movie scene...
It may sound funny, but think about it.They also need some sort of appreciation for their work, regardless of how minute the work may sound to you. It actually boosts their inner self to work in a better way because they know that someone will definitely give them a pat on their back. You can always take some time off from your work and at least acknowledge them because they are the ones who makes your surroundings clean.
What I mean by "Dil Se" is the appreciation and love you can give from the deepest core of your heart. Think of that time when the Indian cricket team is playing against Pakistan in a final match and we win by a small margin... how much excited and elated we are.. that's the real happiness I'm searching for.
Not only them, but a lot more people contribute to your good life and with a simple 'Thank You' gesture or note, you can see that everyone is happy around you and ultimately you are happy within.

Wish you a Happy Day!