Ever since I have set foot into this world, I have grown up holding my mother’s hand and she is the one who showed me the world through her eyes. Later, she encouraged me to go on my own and define world through my own experiences.
Inspite of my “terrible teens”, one thing was absolutely clear, no one can ever take the place of my mother and that is why she is MOM! It will be impossible for me to call any other person as my mother (I mean, that’s huge... right?)
I was wrong
When I turned 27 last year, a new life was waiting for me with all arms open: I was about to get married!
I was excited and happy because the man I was to marry is a gem of a person.., but I was anxious and nervous because of the fear of unknown.. my mother and father-in-law. I used to think what’ll I call them... aunty-uncle, mummyji-papaji or simply just come up with something like.. haanji, ji, namaste, ummm, etc.
I won’t lie, it was cluttered in my head.
Then I decided to just forget everything and go with the flow; let things come to me all by itself. The moment I stepped inside Mumbai (my in law’s place), I felt a different kind of vibe. A vibe which was so new and so fresh. All smiling faces in front of me.. ready to make me feel at home, like I was already the member of this new family. My husband had to leave to USA leaving me alone with my new “parents”.
I was scared; I only knew him.. not his family..!
I decided I will show them my true self and not to be impersonate.
But I hesitated to call them mom and dad.
We in general have a tendency to rely on the first impression for other people and environment which is not the right way. You’ve got to be a little mature than that.
In India, it is the daughter-in-law who has to adjust to the new place and learn the lifestyle of the new family. For me, I gradually discovered, I didn’t have to do anything to adjust, they adjusted for me! It was a surprise because I have always seen my mother struggling so much to find her rightful place in my father’s family. I have seen my mother being constantly questioned by my grandma on random irrelevant things.
My mother-in-law is so open and so welcoming that I didn’t feel alienated. We talk about almost every topic. She is so lively and cheerful; she didn’t even make me understand their cooking methods and lifestyle. Like a water color, I merged into their ways easily.
She gave me time to sink in (which isn’t a common thing at all).
And before I could realise, one day I said .... Maa..! Oh My God.. I gave her the highest honor! She isn’t just my husband’s mother anymore.. she is my mother as well! I am sure she also must have took time to understand me. The best thing was, we both never forced ourselves onto each other.
Now, I can not fathom myself not talking to her on a daily basis. Many a times, I follow my mother-in-law’s advices more than my own mom (my mother-in-law is more open minded and not restricted by traditions). I think of her and my father-in-law every day; and they have all their love to shower upon me!
Yes, I am her daughter.. and not just daughter-in-law!
Some women have dreadful experiences with their in laws, I have seen them too. I think God is kind to me to give me two moms who equally love me and pray for my well-being.
On your 55th birthday, I wish you all the good luck and all the happiness. You means the world to me!
See you soon maa...
Inspite of my “terrible teens”, one thing was absolutely clear, no one can ever take the place of my mother and that is why she is MOM! It will be impossible for me to call any other person as my mother (I mean, that’s huge... right?)
I was wrong
When I turned 27 last year, a new life was waiting for me with all arms open: I was about to get married!
I was excited and happy because the man I was to marry is a gem of a person.., but I was anxious and nervous because of the fear of unknown.. my mother and father-in-law. I used to think what’ll I call them... aunty-uncle, mummyji-papaji or simply just come up with something like.. haanji, ji, namaste, ummm, etc.
I won’t lie, it was cluttered in my head.
Then I decided to just forget everything and go with the flow; let things come to me all by itself. The moment I stepped inside Mumbai (my in law’s place), I felt a different kind of vibe. A vibe which was so new and so fresh. All smiling faces in front of me.. ready to make me feel at home, like I was already the member of this new family. My husband had to leave to USA leaving me alone with my new “parents”.
I was scared; I only knew him.. not his family..!
I decided I will show them my true self and not to be impersonate.
But I hesitated to call them mom and dad.
We in general have a tendency to rely on the first impression for other people and environment which is not the right way. You’ve got to be a little mature than that.
In India, it is the daughter-in-law who has to adjust to the new place and learn the lifestyle of the new family. For me, I gradually discovered, I didn’t have to do anything to adjust, they adjusted for me! It was a surprise because I have always seen my mother struggling so much to find her rightful place in my father’s family. I have seen my mother being constantly questioned by my grandma on random irrelevant things.
My mother-in-law is so open and so welcoming that I didn’t feel alienated. We talk about almost every topic. She is so lively and cheerful; she didn’t even make me understand their cooking methods and lifestyle. Like a water color, I merged into their ways easily.
She gave me time to sink in (which isn’t a common thing at all).
And before I could realise, one day I said .... Maa..! Oh My God.. I gave her the highest honor! She isn’t just my husband’s mother anymore.. she is my mother as well! I am sure she also must have took time to understand me. The best thing was, we both never forced ourselves onto each other.
Now, I can not fathom myself not talking to her on a daily basis. Many a times, I follow my mother-in-law’s advices more than my own mom (my mother-in-law is more open minded and not restricted by traditions). I think of her and my father-in-law every day; and they have all their love to shower upon me!
Yes, I am her daughter.. and not just daughter-in-law!
Some women have dreadful experiences with their in laws, I have seen them too. I think God is kind to me to give me two moms who equally love me and pray for my well-being.
On your 55th birthday, I wish you all the good luck and all the happiness. You means the world to me!
See you soon maa...
